Pablo_Kielbasa's Mombasa

Looking more like Ali Obama and his den of 1000 thieves than a president elect, hapless politico Barack Hussein Obama has lost yet another campy associate to scandal. Who's next? The slithering, underhanded Obama himself? All obvious signs point o yes.

 Barack Hussein Obama: For you, the honeymoon is over.

From CNN:

 http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/

"Barack Obama will require you to work.

 He is going to demand that you shed your cynicism...

Barack will never allow you to go back to your old lives as usual."

Michelle Obama, February, 2008

As the political sun sets on 2008, and the bespectacled, wild-eyed chanting throngs of college-age, cool-aid sipping  Obama Youth fade into the ash pile of history, what can be gleaned by the Obama victory? How did someone so inexperienced and so completely unprepared rise to power so incredibly fast? To understand, one need merely look back in time to 1978.

Cult icon "Reverend" Jim Jones rose to power the same way Obama did, by clever slogans, powerful oratory, and promises of a gilded future for any and all that would follow him blindly. The idea is certainly not new. Hitler, Marx and Lenin played the same gambit on the German and Russian youth respectively, and Osama Ben Laden is still playing to Islamic youth even today.

The naked, unsettling truth is that both Obama and David Axelrod, Obama's key election and PR strategist, were both keenly aware that by tugging on this flaw in human character  they could win, and the morose, sinister reality is, they went ahead and did it anyway. They did not reveal wisdom. They preyed on a tragic flaw in innate human nature, and even if Obama proves to be a reasonably capable President, it is not a moral fix. The end does not justify the means. The end must never justify the means.  Damn them both. 

The naked truth again be known, young people are the most vulnerable to movements based solely on the cult of personality, as the overwhelming youth vote for Obama has clearly shown.

 So, what does this mean? How can an Obamaesque movement be mitigated or even totally eliminated from reoccurring?

One way is to raise the voting age to 25, where a more mature outlook on the human condition prepares one to be less likely to fall prey  to personality cults and media-stoked  brainwash. Historians must look long and hard at what has happened this horrible election year, and strict, prompt measures must be put into effect to prevent it from ever happening again.

Method Man Jones: Obama's divine kissing cousin in rather sub-divine Methodology.

November 2008: Barack Obama elected President...???

What took FOX so long?

MAD TV (not affiliated with MAD Magazine) has finally run its nauseating course, after a full 10 years of being sublimely, if not more often, absurdly unfunny.

The nefarious creative spawn of notorious racial antagonist Quincy Jones and equally perverse and depraved co-writer David Salzman will air its last corrosive episode this May, a decade over due, joining War at Home in the anti-white disfunctional family retribution rubbish bin of modern minority-driven media.

Virginia, Maybe there is a Santa Claus, after all!

Seeya! Wouldn't wanna be ya!

So, just what is this Functionating Click?

 A new and mysterious Pop phrase has hit the streets as of late, sweeping America, but what is it? What does it mean? What is the so-called "Functionating Click"? We interviewed several citizens hoping to find out, and were handed these compelling, if not rather inconclusive, theories:

Hans Krebs, Sociologist: "Well, the Functionating Click is actually a sublime mental defense response. When we see a stranger, we are on alert. But if we suddenly recognize them as friendly, they are no longer perceived to be dangerous, the Functionating Click occurs, and we enter a more submissive, relaxed mode. It clicks on and off just like a light switch. Yes, that's the Functionating Click.

Jerl Gorbash, college student, liberal activist: "Ahhh yes, THE notorious Functionating Click. This term applies to Xenophobia and racism in America. When I look at a minority person, or any person different than myself, I have been brainwashed by the Bush administration to see them as inferior outsiders and a danger to America. But what I can do...very few people can do this you know...is "click off" these feelings of Xenophobia and dissonance because I am intelligent, sensitive and progressive enough to do so. Very few people can do this. Did I already say that? That is the Functionating Click, as I see it...if you can do it...I can, you know."

Daetwon Stubbs, Rapper: "Oh, yeah..yeah...Dat Functionating Click is dat' sound when I click my IPhone to get de' gangsta raps, or text my BFF baby gurls! ist' dat ticky clicky sound, click, click, click, get dem' BLEEP' biches sounds, aoight!"

John Madden, NFL broadcaster: "Well, the Functionating Click is the sound the play by play telescreen makes when I'm drawing a line from Wallace Wright way over here to Brett Favre downtown over there, and then you kinda circle and make an X over there, and make a squiggly line right here, yeah, then you click, click...hey, who the Functionating Click took my Onion Gimlet, goddangit?!"

Jenna Jameson, porn star: "Hee-hee. Ohh, I get it! That's when a guy takes a Viagra and, boing! Click! Gosh, I love the Functionating Click!"

Osama Bin Laden, terrorist: What is this, this...Functionating Click? It is not in the Koran. Kill it. I do like this infidel of a click."

Boomhower, King of the Hill star: "Hey, I tell you what, that dang' ol' Functionating Click man, you jest go on the Internet there, point and click, I'm talking www.com man, you got them naked chicks on there, man you go click, click-click-click, it's real easy man."

What Color is Barack Obama?

White sheep, black sheep, Have you any wool?

The color of the man in the White House either emboldens or diminishes the courage of the average man on the street. Remember that.

If you have been following the 2008 presidential election as of late, you may have noticed that Barack Hussein Obama is alternately referred to as 'black' and 'African-American' without seeming logic or reasonable accord. So what is the difference between the two? And what color is Obama as well?

Barack Hussein Obama is the product of a white mom and a black (or is it African-American?) father, yet Obama has been universally touted as the most viable black candidate in U.S. political history. Certainly, Obama's light skin tone and impeccable linguistic ability have wooed him to many white voters, who see him as potentially 'safe', that is to say, not too far removed from their own tribe.

Yet, 90 percent+ of 'black' voters, (those of 65-75 percent or greater unmixed African descent) have pledged outright support for Obama, who they view as a fellow tribesman who will represent and address the needs of their own lot. Truly a strange conundrum. 'Blacks' can openly support one of their own based solely on skin color and not be deemed racist, but whites cannot do the same. The scales of social structure have tilted to people of color this election year, it would seem, thanks to popular media, as he who controls the media controls the world, after all.

Being black is hot, being white is not, at least in the world according to MTV.

Social taboos abound and define what each of us says and does in regards to race these days, and minorities have garnered great leaps in power and persuasion via the popular media and folkways, indeed.

Yet, is not calling Obama 'black' a disservice to his fair skinned mother? Where does she fit in? Why is her racial composition and genetic contribution being ignored?

Calling Obama 'black' harkens back to slave days when even 1/8 black blood rendered you black. This still seems to be true today. Any black blood makes you black, and this is the case with Obama. But when is a 'black' an 'African-American'? When there is fear, of course. A black is called an African-American almost exclusively by whites who are afraid to call them 'black', lest they commit social faux pas de resistance and be branded a 'racist' by their (oddly often white) peers.

The big difference is that blacks have no trouble in calling themselves black, as it embodies 'black pride' and even black militancy, where as 'white pride' has been decried and outcast as merely racist, or even fascist. As it goes, whoever wins on the 2008 presidential ticket (black, white, male, female or something in between), it's clear that a simmering, subterranean battle between the races is already at hand, and only promises to become more pronounced, overt and perhaps even explosive if whites truly do lose power in the U.S. this year and awaken from their pop media induced slumber to an ice water wash of having been succinctly 'played' to the illusion that race truly doesn't matter in human affairs and respond with piecemeal embryonic quasi-militant movement(s) of their own, polarization bristles back to life, and the tireless, all too often malicious, pendulum of culture and political power sweeps back the other way.

This is a public service announcement:

Reports are flooding in about Obama supporters sporting those trendy black frame reading glasses getting beaten up, including one young man in Detroit who had to have pieces of the frame surgically removed from his cornea and nose bridge.

Wear them if you dare...

Hmmmm.....hmmmmm....

Divorce: Change you can believe in.

As the November presidential election looms ominously near, decisions will need to be made. Who will you vote for? Obama or McCain? Whomever you choose, keep in mind that this year is very, very different from all of the others.

2008 is the first year that a presidential election has drawn the race card, so the crucial dilemma is, how can a white couple, wherein the man is a McCain supporter, and the woman an Obama supporter, reconcile their political differences? Surely, those who agree to vote in unison will suffer no ill effects, but a white couple split on the issue may not survive the racial schism. It is easy to imagine thousands of couples splitting up because of their personal candidate choice, as a white woman "leaving her white husband for a black president", so to speak, is taboo of all taboos and is totally unforgivable.

So, be careful what you wish for this terrible election year, America. Change may very well be in the air for you.

Traditionally crazed scolding hag Madam House Speaker Nancy Pelosi only recently endangered America by loose flabulations of her liberal lib, squawking "This crisis is the result of 8 years of incompetent Conservative government and complete lack of any and all regulation".

*ahem*

Well, folks, whether it is or isn't, now was not the time for Nan to stop taking her Paxil.

Shame, Nan. America first, personal agenda second.  

Keepin' it real, sista biatch!

The current economic "crisis" was easy to spot in the making. Sub Prime lenders extended high interest loans to low income, mostly minority consumers with bad credit who were desperate to get a house, not caring, or even paying attention, to the cold reality that their monthly house payment would amount to 80-90 percent of their take home pay in most cases.

Shame on them, silly childish fools.  Don't let your eyes write a check your behind can't cash.

And shame on the sub prime lenders for granting, or even considering granting, loans to these folks. They figured house values would continue to rise, and that they could easily "flip" the house onto the next sucker after the foreclosure, just like in new car sales, not aware that house values would dip, and courts would be clogged over with foreclosure cases, a typical forelosure case taking over three years to process rather than the usual 5-6 months.

The fix?

Stop writing bad loans. It really is that easy. Lend, and borrow,  money cautiously.

"Crisis" over. 

Would you buy a used house from this man?

OMG! That is so freaking racist!

WORLD NEWS- Liberal Chick Melissa Mann picked up an empty Reese's peanut butter nips wrapper with the "official nips of the 2008 Beijing Olympics" logo on it and slammed it down hard

"OMG! Can you believe this bullcrap?! The Olympics is totally xenophobic, sexist and racist! I mean, all of us newly enlightened Obama youth are fully aware that nationalities and culture are strictly figments of the imagination created by white Europeans to keep minorities down! There are no such things as countries you know! There is no Kenya, China, U.S.A., Russia, Serbia or any other country, just one world human race! That's what I call it, the World Human People Race! And why are women competing separately from men? That is so totally sexist! All of this racist, sexist and xenophobic bullcrap is designed to divide, not unite, and I'm a uniter not a divider!

Liberal Chick paused for the briefest moment to tweedle her trendy 12 buck reading glasses and actually breath in some air

"OMG! I mean, even the Olympic medal system is racist! Why is gold better than silver or bronze? What is bronze, like, a colored metal, because it's brown toned?! OMG! That is so totally freaking racist!"

When asked how future Olympics should be structured, Mann offered "One human race, one event, one medal, no one competes, everyone co-operates, everyone wins. And don't try to mess with me either, because I'm German, and Germans have a natural head for organization and discipline you know!"

Big Huge Muscle Guy Pretty Much Scaring The Hell Out Of Everyone He Bumps Into


Carbo load! You wish you were me! You wish you were me! RAaaaaaarrrrRRR... RRRrrr....aaahhhhh!!

IRON CITY , PA - Iron City bodybuilding enthusiast Eddie Tufts was recently observed "scaring the hell out of pretty much everyone he bumps into" according to his anxiously alarmed girlfriend Trisha Ziske.

"I-It's getting crazy! Eddie is so massive and bulked up, I think this whole weight lifting thing has totally consumed him. It's like he turns into a mad Hulk or something, and rails on and on about how huge he is. I-I can't take it anymore!*sob*!"

Friends and family of Tufts have recanted tales of him insanely ranting "Minimum weight 205, max weight 215! Keep my run below 14 flat at least, separation and vascularity in the arms, legs, losing the gut and watching abs emerge. Good stuff! Cardio diet! You wish you were me! You WISH you were me!" to pretty much anyone within eye range or earshot.

"We can't stop him!" Bemoaned Ziske. "He benches everything in sight. He lifts riding mowers over his head with riders on them, baby carriages with babies in them and even turned 2 fully loaded shopping carts into curling irons! The steroids must have gone straight to his brain. He outta control!"

Other tales recounted Tufts lifting the rear wheels of convertible Volkswagen Golfs at red lights, ripping the top of beer cans off with his teeth and even cracking walnuts without a nutcracker, and without his hands, neither.

Eventually, Tufts would come down off of his chaotic cardiovascular high after a series of sudden agonizing muscular rips and abdominal tears, the worst of which was heard, not to mention whiffed, clean over in McKees Rocks.

The top 10 answers people volunteered when asked to describe presidential candidates John McCain and Barack Obama, according to an Associated Press-Yahoo! News poll released Monday. Included is the percentage of people who gave each answer. More than one response was allowed.

John McCain:

1. Old, 19 percent

2. Military service, 9 percent

3. Record, qualifications, 8 percent

4. Bush, 7 percent

5. Strength, 7 percent

6. Insider, politician, 7 percent

7. Iraq, terrorism, 6 percent

8. Honest, 5 percent

9. Republican, 5 percent

10. (tie) Moral/good and dishonest, 4 percent

Barack Obama:

1. Outsider, change, 20 percent

2. Lack of experience, 13 percent

3. Dishonest, 9 percent

4. Inspiring, 8 percent

5. Liberal, 6 percent

6, 7 (tie). Obama's race, young, 6 percent

8. Not likable, 5 percent

9. Intelligent, 4 percent

10. Muslim, 3 percent

The AP-Yahoo! News poll of 1,759 adults was conducted from June 13-23 and had an overall margin of sampling error of plus or minus 2.3 percentage points. The poll was conducted over the Internet by Knowledge Networks, which initially contacted people using traditional telephone polling methods and followed with online interviews.

Some Really Great Life's Tips


The persistence of being persistent.

Have you ever mused about what you would have done different with your life if you could just go back in time with the knowledge and experiences that you have in your head today? I was thinking about 1988, if I could just go back 20 years, knowing what I know now. Outside of the obvious, like buying all the Microsoft stock I could handle at a penny a share, here are some other things I noticed that may offer you a shortcut, and hopefully a fuller, richer life.

1. Never do anything that you don't want to do. This one is the biggest, and most crucial. If you are in a relationship, or even a marriage, that obviously is a poor fit, get out. Don't dally with it, and try to do it before you have kids. I can't tell you how many breakups I have witnessed, and been part of, that ended badly, and often with life-shattering consequences, that should have ended before things reached that point. Search your heart. If it don't fit you must split!

On that same note, go after what your heart wants, and I especially urge young 20 some-things to take heed of this one. Don't worry about rejection, or feelings of inadequacy, or feeling foolish. Life is too short to feel inadequate. Don't waste time. If you want someone strongly, go for it. Do whatever it takes. Be willing to make changes midstream. If you are in a reasonably satisfactory relationship, and your dream girl/guy comes along, take some time to make some time with that person. If it works out, and is a better fit, you won't be sorry, believe me, and if it doesn't, you're still better off than you were before, believe it or not, but please believe it. You're better off alone than moldering away precious, irretrievable years in the icy malaise of a loveless relationship.

2. Don't ignore your health. I have been lucky in this area, but I have many acquaintances who have not. If you are 25, and are in perfect health, or even consider yourself to be, don't let that stop you from seeing a doctor and getting a full A-Z physical. Do it now. Don't get it in your head that disease and sickness are the realm of old people, I lost a number of good friends in their 30's to chronic conditions that could have been easily cured or prevented by early diagnosis and treatment. You might be walking around with an aneurism in your brain and not know it, or have undiagnosed glaucoma, or hypertension, and feel just fine. Don't wait, go to a doctor now, regardless how you feel.

3. Make the right career moves. Just like in relationships, don't do anything that you don't want to do. If you are hemmed in by a job that you can take or leave, but just don't think you can find the time, or believe that you lack the capability to get a better job, you need to fix that notion, fast. Big life's lesson: Time Goes Fast.

If you still live at home and aren't paying rent, use this rare, fleeting period of your life to obtain as much education as you can afford, and spend time interviewing and chasing employers that you are passionate about before you find yourself out on your own. As soon as you have to pay your own overhead, your chances and choices diminish, and it only gets harder and harder as you get older. Pick a career that is marketable. You may love Archaeology, but will it pay the bills? This is strictly my opinion, but I urge choosing careers that pay well historically, and are adaptable to a changing, technologically evolving economy. Do it right the first time, you most likely won't have a second chance.

4. Don't get worked up over silly stuff. I wish I would have heeded my own advice on this one. Do you ever find yourself fuming over something someone said about you, or ceaselessly mulled over a failed relationship, or a bad experience you had someplace or another with someone or another? Of course you do, at least if you are normal.

Big Tip: I know, I know...It's hard, but you've got to try not to. Try to discipline yourself to forget. Don't let your imagination destroy you. Trivial matters should only occupy a trivial moment of your time. Don't torture yourself. Once again, life is far too short for such misguided emotion.

5. Make the right choices. A big part of this is reading warning labels. If the warning label on the side of a pack of cigarettes says that it causes cancer, emphysema and heart disease, than it does. Don't think you are immune. You may have heard of someone's uncle who smoked for 75 years and lived to be 90, but that is the rare, rare exception. Don't count on it. Don't think that you can handle your alcohol and go to a bar and drink and drive. You can't. Keep in mind that most of the laws created by society have a solid foundation in fact, and apply to you, not to "someone else." You're nothing special, dummy, and don't think you are.

Follow these tips and you will live a fuller, richer life, rest assured, or you can just screw up and be like everyone else, including me. Anyhoo, anybody got any hot stock tips? Gosh dang Microsoft.

Dozens of gay elephants prepare to wed in California


Smile, though your heart is breaking!

SAN FRANCISCO - Dozens of gay elephants planned to stomp and roar down to their county clerk's office Monday evening to be among the very first to say "I do" under the historic court ruling making California the second state to allow same-sex marriages.

The May 15 decision by the California Supreme Court was set to take effect at 5 p.m. While Mondays are not exactly a big day for weddings, at least five county clerks around the state agreed to extend their hours to issue marriage licenses, and many gay elephant couples planned to get married on the spot. "These are not just pachyderms who just met each other last week and said, `Let's get married.' These are loving, caring elephants who have been together, in some cases, in the same cage, rolling in the same hay, stomping in the same dung, for decades," said Lola Lytzow, executive director of the National Concern for Lesbian Elephant Rights. "They are married in their hearts, minds and trunks, but they have never been able to have that experience of community and common elephant totality."

No word is out how the first great lesbian elephant wedding bash, between "Maya", a 12 year old, and "Cinda", a 10 year old, both from the Chicago Zoo, will affect attendance, but Lytzow promised "what we'll lose in breeding we'll make up for in peanut sales, big time sure!"