Proudmom

This blog is more for me to vent confusion, frustration and emotions. Please realize that it is also the opinion of an emotionally drained sibling of a murdered victim.

I understand that accused criminals must have their rights to a fair trial but when does the victim's rights and the rights of their family supersede? I don't want any innocent person to be punished for a crime that was not committed by them. I believe crimes should be honestly investigated and justice should be served. I know punishment will be served either here or in the ever after. What has me in turmoil today? My brother's murderer and his attorney want him tried has a juvenile. The man was 18 yrs old when he killed my brother. At 18 yrs old he knows the difference between right and wrong. He had plenty of time to weigh his options and the repercussions of the actions he was about to take. He was old enough to know what he was doing!!! Now why are we wasting tax-payers money to hold a "pre-trial" for them to file a request for him to be tried as a juvenile???? I realize we (my family) have a lot of pre-trials and such ahead of us & I know there are going to be plea bargains made but this request is ridiculous. I know the chances of it being approved are slim to none but why bother he was 18 yrs old. Why put families through this nonsense? We have already been through so much and still have a lot more to go through. It is very frustrating for all of us. We barely know which emotion we are feeling on a daily basis. Just as we are feeling good about where we are at on this emotion rollercoaster we receive news of a friend of my brother's will be getting married, or a married couple that he was friends with is having a baby & it starts a whole new ride. We are happy for each one of them and we love them all but then we feel sorrow because we will never see my brother get married or have kids, etc.

This man didn't even know my brother and he took his life over something that my brother had no involvement in. If he needed a friend to talk to my brother was the one person he could have found a friend in. At my brother's funeral what we kept hearing from his friends (girls and guys) and their parents was "he was like a brother/son to me" & "he is forever my brother". My brother would have been the one person that would have tried to help him. This 18 yr man is free on bond is going on with his life. I lay awake at night praying that he doesn't loose his temper again and doesn't take another life. He is able to come and go as he pleases, he can and does work & he can open his eyes up each morning and take a breath. I pray that he values every precious minute he has before he goes to prison. I pray for him to find God and that God will soften his hardened heart.

I know my brother is in a much more peaceful, beautiful and glorious place than we are. I know my brother is with our savior Jesus Christ. My brother did things for his family, his friends and their families that most young men don't do unless it benefits them and he will be rewarded for it. Because I know where he is I know he doesn't feel pain or the heartbreak for not having his family with him. What my family is feeling is temporary and one day we will join him and rejoice in the presence of Jesus Christ. Knowing all of this I still can't understand why we put families through some of these ridiculous "pre-trials".